Most parents attaches great importance to the studies of their children and try to get involved in them. But
teachers and psychologists say that not always clear what is their role
in school learning and sometimes adopt attitudes that end up harming
the education of children.
STUDYING WITH THEM
Being a parent and teacher at the same time creates conflicts and dependence
“They get the first homework and there are mom and dad next door; and duties are the creature, not family; the duty of the family is to ensure that the child has time and space to do their homework and if they are very small, facilitate the organization of time, “explains Maria Jesús Comellas, professor at the UAB at the Faculty of Education Sciences and psychologist specializing in family-school relationships.
Benjamí Montenegro, the Equip PSICOLOGIC the Desenvolupament de l’Individu, says the role of parents is the auditors: “You have to control the work is done, but not enter the content because it is the tasks make them children and so work their autonomy. ” That does not mean that if the child raises doubt not give tracks or tools to solve it. Experts say that making teachers and parents at the same time brings only problems: family daily and dependence creates conflicts, because kids tend to be someone above them to work. And if the child has learning difficulties or need reinforcement, the advice is to seek a tutor.
ALL resolve it
Oversights difficult to solve their maturation
“Children have to learn to organize and solve their problems, at any age, and not to send anyone rushing to buy printer ink late afternoon because the next day is to deliver a job or take to school the book or the sandwich forgotten; if parents solve them all ‘as long as they study’, not mature, do not assume their responsibilities and learn to be autonomous, “agree Comellas and Montenegro.
Focus ALL IN THE STUDIO
Make training the axis of family life damages the relationship
Educators say that a student repeated phrase is “my parents are only interested if I study, the rest do not care about anything.” “When focalizas all studies, when the first thing you ask your son at the school gate is what duties you have or what note you have rather than how was your day, or with whom you have related, sends the message that you are interested in learning, not the person, “says Comellas. He adds that the same applies when the university son frees you from housework because “their work is to study”. “That person has to live, must know how to organize, have domestic skills and ability to relate, and that sometimes we neglect or we care about your emotional and relational life,” emphasizes the psychologist.
QUERER GENIOS
Overstimulate often causes the opposite effect
Teachers explain that a very common practice in families is to overstimulate children. “Everyone wants a genius child and fill them cradle of gadgets, abuse educational games, are struggling because learn many things and the sooner the better, and that overstimulation not only influences faster cognitive evolution, but often has effects counterproductive as attention problems or lack of concentration, “says Joan Domènech, school teacher Fructuós Gelabert Barcelona.
That impatience about learning causes, according to psychologists, parents despair before the first difficulties in studies or living as a failure the first bad results, regardless of education is a long-term process and that what children need to learn is patience and encouragement. “Parents should not consider the poor results as a failure because it reduces the self-esteem of children and incapacitates more and more to each other,” they warn.
NOTES REWARD
The material incentive distorted and can increase frustration
Notes nor have to reward or punish; They have to praise and applaud, or analyze if needed more time to study, according to experts. “The best incentive is to discover new things and develop your interests, if necessary stimulus material, is that something does not work,” said Domenech.
Montenegro warns that the awards can cause a double frustration, because often offered by unrealistic notes and if the kid does not succeed despite the promised reward his sense of failure and their discomfort is twofold: in addition to not reach their school goal, it is left without a gift.
Disguising VAGANCIA
Find disorders behind the failures delayed maturity
Another recurring behavior they observe teachers is the tendency of parents to seek neurological disorders behind school failures of their children. “There are many children who are unable to make an effort to do homework or study because they are vague, and that’s immaturity, not a mental disorder, and sometimes try to disguise that vagrancy as intolerance to frustration or stress intolerance, when what have is lack of autonomy, “says Montenegro. Comellas stresses that this attitude has to do with the hiperprotectora attitude of many parents seeking disorder label to the underperformance of their children “because at the time masquerading something like disorder is desculpabiliza everyone”.
EXERCISE OF DETECTIVES
The absolute control of their tasks arouses mistrust
There are parents who track homework, jobs, testing date, or comments of their children in class through the school agenda, the web center, social networks or implying in his inquiries to the parents of other children in the class , with whom they are in constant contact by WhatsApp. “Such behavior causes a gap of distrust and solves nothing,” says Montenegro. Instead of exercising this absolute control advisable to perform a distant accompaniment, review with the boy’s agenda but leaving that task to be autonomous to perform them. And for parents who choose to ask the lesson to see if the child has prepared a review, experts recommend to put three or four questions in writing, because usually no oral exams and useless to the child the lesson is known talking if then it expressed poorly written or commits many misspellings.
USE THE STUDY AS TOLL
Homework just understood as a punishment
“Punished to do homework” or “until you finish reading no no drawings” are phrases used by some parents to encourage their children to do homework. But experts say the study time should always be a time of peace and quiet, not scolding. The aim, they say, should be to help children discover the pleasure of reading or learning, and this is not achieved if homework as a punishment or as a necessary step to enjoy pleasurable activities like going toll arise with friends, watch TV or play with the console.
And as they grow, they have to understand the relationship between effort, dedication and results, “and assume that if they have to study more because they have had bad grades is an investment, not a punishment,” says Comellas.
DESIGNED IN CHILDREN
Expectations are not always suited to the capabilities
Psychologists believe that in many families outweigh expectations of parents on children’s education preferences or capabilities of these, and many kids are oriented to study what they want or like their parents. “In this country we confuse intelligence with title, we continue discrediting vocational training and do not value creativity as a means to live,” muses Comelles.
NOT BOUND BY THE SCHOOL ONLINE
The model parent does not guarantee success today
Many parents think that the model and educational methods that served them serve their children, but the school has changed a lot and the kids too. “What you liked school, what you learned and how you learned then not have to be a successful model for your children,” says Domenech. And therefore considers a mistake that parents try to teach children to read or to calculate on your own or put them building activities at home, without considering that perhaps are interfering in the rhythm or the pedagogical method followed by the school. “One has to consider which school to take your child, make sure sharing the same ideas, and then accompany the child in learning but with respect to the process that are still in school, and do not give the child different messages,” muses . Educators are especially critical with parents who constantly show their disagreement with teachers in the presence of children, because they take advantage of that situation to handle some and others.
STUDYING WITH THEM
Being a parent and teacher at the same time creates conflicts and dependence
“They get the first homework and there are mom and dad next door; and duties are the creature, not family; the duty of the family is to ensure that the child has time and space to do their homework and if they are very small, facilitate the organization of time, “explains Maria Jesús Comellas, professor at the UAB at the Faculty of Education Sciences and psychologist specializing in family-school relationships.
Benjamí Montenegro, the Equip PSICOLOGIC the Desenvolupament de l’Individu, says the role of parents is the auditors: “You have to control the work is done, but not enter the content because it is the tasks make them children and so work their autonomy. ” That does not mean that if the child raises doubt not give tracks or tools to solve it. Experts say that making teachers and parents at the same time brings only problems: family daily and dependence creates conflicts, because kids tend to be someone above them to work. And if the child has learning difficulties or need reinforcement, the advice is to seek a tutor.
ALL resolve it
Oversights difficult to solve their maturation
“Children have to learn to organize and solve their problems, at any age, and not to send anyone rushing to buy printer ink late afternoon because the next day is to deliver a job or take to school the book or the sandwich forgotten; if parents solve them all ‘as long as they study’, not mature, do not assume their responsibilities and learn to be autonomous, “agree Comellas and Montenegro.
Focus ALL IN THE STUDIO
Make training the axis of family life damages the relationship
Educators say that a student repeated phrase is “my parents are only interested if I study, the rest do not care about anything.” “When focalizas all studies, when the first thing you ask your son at the school gate is what duties you have or what note you have rather than how was your day, or with whom you have related, sends the message that you are interested in learning, not the person, “says Comellas. He adds that the same applies when the university son frees you from housework because “their work is to study”. “That person has to live, must know how to organize, have domestic skills and ability to relate, and that sometimes we neglect or we care about your emotional and relational life,” emphasizes the psychologist.
QUERER GENIOS
Overstimulate often causes the opposite effect
Teachers explain that a very common practice in families is to overstimulate children. “Everyone wants a genius child and fill them cradle of gadgets, abuse educational games, are struggling because learn many things and the sooner the better, and that overstimulation not only influences faster cognitive evolution, but often has effects counterproductive as attention problems or lack of concentration, “says Joan Domènech, school teacher Fructuós Gelabert Barcelona.
That impatience about learning causes, according to psychologists, parents despair before the first difficulties in studies or living as a failure the first bad results, regardless of education is a long-term process and that what children need to learn is patience and encouragement. “Parents should not consider the poor results as a failure because it reduces the self-esteem of children and incapacitates more and more to each other,” they warn.
NOTES REWARD
The material incentive distorted and can increase frustration
Notes nor have to reward or punish; They have to praise and applaud, or analyze if needed more time to study, according to experts. “The best incentive is to discover new things and develop your interests, if necessary stimulus material, is that something does not work,” said Domenech.
Montenegro warns that the awards can cause a double frustration, because often offered by unrealistic notes and if the kid does not succeed despite the promised reward his sense of failure and their discomfort is twofold: in addition to not reach their school goal, it is left without a gift.
Disguising VAGANCIA
Find disorders behind the failures delayed maturity
Another recurring behavior they observe teachers is the tendency of parents to seek neurological disorders behind school failures of their children. “There are many children who are unable to make an effort to do homework or study because they are vague, and that’s immaturity, not a mental disorder, and sometimes try to disguise that vagrancy as intolerance to frustration or stress intolerance, when what have is lack of autonomy, “says Montenegro. Comellas stresses that this attitude has to do with the hiperprotectora attitude of many parents seeking disorder label to the underperformance of their children “because at the time masquerading something like disorder is desculpabiliza everyone”.
EXERCISE OF DETECTIVES
The absolute control of their tasks arouses mistrust
There are parents who track homework, jobs, testing date, or comments of their children in class through the school agenda, the web center, social networks or implying in his inquiries to the parents of other children in the class , with whom they are in constant contact by WhatsApp. “Such behavior causes a gap of distrust and solves nothing,” says Montenegro. Instead of exercising this absolute control advisable to perform a distant accompaniment, review with the boy’s agenda but leaving that task to be autonomous to perform them. And for parents who choose to ask the lesson to see if the child has prepared a review, experts recommend to put three or four questions in writing, because usually no oral exams and useless to the child the lesson is known talking if then it expressed poorly written or commits many misspellings.
USE THE STUDY AS TOLL
Homework just understood as a punishment
“Punished to do homework” or “until you finish reading no no drawings” are phrases used by some parents to encourage their children to do homework. But experts say the study time should always be a time of peace and quiet, not scolding. The aim, they say, should be to help children discover the pleasure of reading or learning, and this is not achieved if homework as a punishment or as a necessary step to enjoy pleasurable activities like going toll arise with friends, watch TV or play with the console.
And as they grow, they have to understand the relationship between effort, dedication and results, “and assume that if they have to study more because they have had bad grades is an investment, not a punishment,” says Comellas.
DESIGNED IN CHILDREN
Expectations are not always suited to the capabilities
Psychologists believe that in many families outweigh expectations of parents on children’s education preferences or capabilities of these, and many kids are oriented to study what they want or like their parents. “In this country we confuse intelligence with title, we continue discrediting vocational training and do not value creativity as a means to live,” muses Comelles.
NOT BOUND BY THE SCHOOL ONLINE
The model parent does not guarantee success today
Many parents think that the model and educational methods that served them serve their children, but the school has changed a lot and the kids too. “What you liked school, what you learned and how you learned then not have to be a successful model for your children,” says Domenech. And therefore considers a mistake that parents try to teach children to read or to calculate on your own or put them building activities at home, without considering that perhaps are interfering in the rhythm or the pedagogical method followed by the school. “One has to consider which school to take your child, make sure sharing the same ideas, and then accompany the child in learning but with respect to the process that are still in school, and do not give the child different messages,” muses . Educators are especially critical with parents who constantly show their disagreement with teachers in the presence of children, because they take advantage of that situation to handle some and others.
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